Gigagiggles

Thoughts from the Walk

Bill — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 02:55:00 +0000

You will never love anyone or anything more deeply than you love God. If you do, you're mistaken about who your God is.

Waiting

Bill — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 07:53:00 +0000

I had a dream the other night about a thick, green-covered book called Christian Theology. I'd purchased the book a dozen years ago for a seminary course and hadn't looked at it since.

I found it on my bookshelf and put it on a table, and there it sat until I came home from work for lunch one day this week and cracked it open. Tucked inside the front cover was a photocopy of an article titled "Cosmology, Ontology, and the Travail of Biblical Language" by Langdon B. Gilkey. While I sat there eating my peanut butter sandwich and reading the article, I found myself uncontrollably weeping.

I weep when I read systematic theology. I thought I was done surprising myself.

Supernatural Aid

Bill — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 14:36:00 +0000

On Sunday, while waiting to go to the rehearsal for my best friend's wedding, my daughter and I goofed around outside. It's October in Massachusetts (just like most other places right now) and there was clover everywhere. So I explained to my daughter about the four-leaf variety and she wanted to look for one.

Aha, I thought to myself, the true purpose of the superstition -- it gave people something do while waiting before they'd invented the Nintendo DS.

After a few seconds of searching the hillside, I'd had about enough, and I told my daughter what we needed was a shamrock sensor. "You could sweep it around like this," I said, making beeping noises. She thought that was a great idea and began sweeping and beeping right along with me.

We laughed for a bit. Then I sighed and stopped and wondered how much more time we had to kill. She was still sweeping and beeping when I looked down and saw, looking right back up at me, a clover with four leaves.

I counted them again. Then I knelt down for a closer look and counted a third time. We picked it and rushed inside to find something to store it in. My daughter said, "Can we go look for another?"

I said, "Um, I think it's time to go."

In other news, I finished the first draft of my book today. It's a story about a young man growing up and learning what it means to be a hero in a world that doesn't always make sense. I need to take at least one more pass at it to clean it up, but it sure was fun writing it.

Here's hoping Sunday's event and today's event are somehow related.

color-coded demographics

Bill — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 15:20:00 +0000

I recently came into possession of one of these black 30GB video ipods. I explained to my daughter that we can watch TV shows on it. She got very excited and asked if it had 'girl's shows' on it.

"Sadly no," I said. "Those are on the pink ones."

Progress

Bill — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 02:54:00 +0000

It's been four months of getting up at 6 AM, but I've managed to restructure the half of a book I wrote back in '05. The book now has a first act. I couldn't have adequately explained what a first act is 2 years ago; I've learned a lot from another misplaced Pittsburgher here in Phoenix.

The structural changes resulted in completely gutting about 40 pages and adjusting and improving the rest. I have at least two more months of early mornings to wrap it all up, writing about 2 pages a day, but in honor of this milestone, I've resurrected the word count from so long ago. It's under the 'my book' link over there on the right...

I don't know if anyone will ever want to buy this thing, but I crack myself up. One of the reasons I married my wife is because I like myself better when she's around. The book has the same effect. It doesn't cook as well, and isn't nearly as cuddly, but it makes me smile.

Great Work

Bill — Tue, 29 May 2007 19:39:00 +0000

The YouTube video below is the 2005 Stanford Commencement speech by Apple and Pixar CEO Steve Jobs.

About half way through he says, "I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love and that is as true for work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life and the only way to be truly satisifed is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking and don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it."

He follows that with the story of his brush with death in the form of pancreatic cancer. All of it touches on why the position declaring 'the job is not the point' has never set well with me.

Why

Bill — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 03:26:00 +0000

I write because I need to.

It's how I think. It's how I hope. It's how I learn of me.

And because stories are patterns,
because characters are Types,
because questions find homes in all hearts,
it's how I know you.

I write because I need to know.

To know me, to know you, to know what happens next.

To know what happens next,

I write.

Thirteen Thirteen

Bill — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 06:32:00 +0000

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

- 1 Corinthians 13:13

Something unnerving is happening. I'm beginning to actually like people. And not just the likable ones. Those are easy.

Faith, hope and love... See, loyalty comes naturally to me. Mix in some imagination and you've got faith. Hope, well, I always figured that was just faith in a fancy dress. Love, though, that's a tough one for me because loyalty lets you think you can love people even if you don't like them.

I've been spending a lot of time with God these past few months of non-blogging. "Seek ye first" and all that. I pride myself on having a lot of non-Christian friends, and I'm about to freak them all out: I think the reason I'm beginning to like people is that I'm falling in love with Jesus Christ. Sorry guys.

I wish you could feel what I feel.

A Talk With George

Bill — Wed, 13 Sep 2006 22:55:00 +0000

When my college minister would lend me books, he'd always add a Calvin & Hobbes compilation to the pile. That may be the most personally appropriate spiritual direction I've ever received.

All I know about George Plimpton is what's written here. And I only looked him up because this song by Jonathan Coulton (titled "A Talk with George") caught my attention.

To the seven deadly sins I would add an eighth: 'being morose.' I bought a guitar last weekend and I'm taking a self-imposed break from my ongoing existential crisis to learn how to play it.

It's a good thing we have forever to enjoy God, because apparently I need a lot of practice.

Keystone

Bill — Thu, 31 Aug 2006 16:47:00 +0000

From comments, emails and IM's, it's clear to me that the third part of what Brice is now calling The Gigagiggles Trilemma has the popular vote: The Job is Not the Point. I'll tackle that one first then, but there's some more groundwork to lay out.

The answer given to the first question in the Westminster Catechism says, "Man's chief end is to glorify God, and enjoy him forever."

That's the keystone of my whole problem. Remove it, and nothing else serves any purpose. Or if you prefer, it's all four corners of the jigsaw puzzle. Everything must fit in that frame. The solution will grow and take shape from this point.

Groundwork

Bill — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 22:46:00 +0000

First, let's name the three Or's:

"I need to do something more potentially impactful with my life than making video games." That's the Get a Real Job argument.

"I need to convince myself once and for all that video games matter in the Grand Scheme." That's the Games Matter argument.

"It's not so much what you do, but how you do it, and who you are that matters in the 'changing the world for the better' sense." That's the The Job is Not the Point argument.

Do Games Matter, or should I Get a Real Job, or is it that The Job is Not the Point?

Idealism

Bill — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 16:52:00 +0000

I need to stop watching movies like Patriot and Braveheart. They make feel like what I do is worthless.

Or, I need to do something more potentially impactful with my life than making video games.

Or, I need to convince myself once and for all that video games matter in the Grand Scheme.

Or, I need to re-convince myself that it's not so much what you do, but how you do it, and who you are that matters in the 'changing the world for the better' sense.

Those of you who know me know this is not a new struggle. In fact, those of you who know me well are probably getting tired of it. I am too. So, once and for all, I'm going to work through those three "Or's" right here, out loud. And when I get into one of these funks again later you can say, "Shut up Bill," and point at this blog and wiggle your eyebrows pointedly.

Upheaval

Bill — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 02:07:00 +0000

Well, phooey. After a few hours of wrestling with three year old html, I've decided to just wipe it and start fresh. The impetus was the deluge of spam-comments. Blogger's comment system should fix that, but it looks like if you don't have a Blogger login, you can't comment here. Can someone confirm (or, um, dis-confirm) that?

In other news, I presented what I've been working on to MGM today, and their producer's boss's boss said, "This is revolutionary."

Viva la! (That's Spanish, I believe, for 'woot!')

Know Thyself

Bill — Tue, 01 Aug 2006 14:33:00 +0000

The Myers-Briggs personality test puts me at INTP...but barely a T, so when I feel like it I can cross over into INFP territory. Those letters mean nothing to me, but the last time I took the test, the site assigned words to me like architect, philosopher, searcher and seeker. If you preface each of those with 'amateur,' I think they're a pretty good fit.

Yesterday, Katie pointed me to a personality assessment I hadn't seen before. It's called the Johari Window. You pick 5 or 6 words out of a grid of 55 that you feel most accurately describe you. Then you have friends and family pick 5 or 6 and the tool gives you a neat little map of what you think of yourself compared to what others think. Here's a link where you can fill out my window if you're so inclined then make one of your very own.

Detritus

Bill — Mon, 31 Jul 2006 14:19:00 +0000

Five months is by far the longest hiatus this site has suffered since its inception in...2003. I've cleaned up the blog comments (thanks for the alert Bob) and probably lost some real comments in the process. My apologies. It's a marvel of modern technology that even web sites fill up with debris when left unattended.

Consider the process of cleaning up this site symbolic. The dust has finally settled on a year of upheaval. Time to sweep out the corners and see what can be salvaged and what should just be tossed.

Session Two

Bill — Wed, 01 Mar 2006 04:02:00 +0000

Video Games: Changing the Day, One World at a Time.
Session 2: For Present and Future Game Developers

This second session in the Video Game series will tackle games as a vocation. If our chief end is to glorify God, there are certainly easier places to meet a calling, but few careers have the potential to teach and mold minds in the ways that this medium can. Games deliver the kind of identity-play that is necessary for deep, critical learning in any domain. Can we harness that power intentionally? Can we use games to communicate deeper truths about the human condition?

This session will address topics of interest to game developers and people who want to be game developers: Art. The Theory of Fun. The State of the Video Game Industry. Learning. The Problem of Story in Games. Gamer Myths. Social Responsibility in Entertainment. And whether or not Christians should be involved.

power point slides here

Session One

Bill — Wed, 01 Mar 2006 03:58:00 +0000

Video Games: Changing the Day, One World at a Time
Session 1: For Gamers and the People Who Put Up With Us

Is there a place for games in a Christ-centered life? A glance at any game store shelf will reveal the obvious cons: gratuitous violence and the objectification of women paired with Pavlovian reward mechanisms in the context of typical adolescent male power fantasies. That can't be good, right?

We sense that games teach something. Some fear that they teach whatever it is too well. But what do they teach? Is any of it redeeming? You may be surprised to find out who is playing, and what the gamer generation has learned.

This session will address topics of interest to gamers and people who want to understand us: Addiction. The Point of Play. Learning. The Gamer Generation. Gamer Myths. Social Responsibility in Entertainment. Worldviews in Games. And whether Jesus would've preferred RPG's or RTS's.

power point slides here

The Talks...

Bill — Wed, 01 Mar 2006 03:13:00 +0000

The talk turned into two talks - each for an hour. The first was recorded. It will eventually be available for purchase on CD at www.soundword.com (fyi none of the money goes to me and I'm not certain if the conference gets a cut). The recording folks assumed the second session was the same as the first and therefore didn't need to be recorded I guess.

Both talks went very well, and the room was packed - people had to sit on the floor. I had way too much content, which is far better than the opposite problem. By popular request, I'm going to post the powerpoints here. While I was careful during the talks to point out when I was drawing information from outside sources, I'm afraid the slides aren't as clear as they could be in that regard.

I drew on James Paul Gee's "What Video Games Have to Teach Us About Learning and Literacy" and Beck & Wade's "Got Game" for both talks, and Raph Koster's "Theory of Fun" toward the end of the second. The balance of the material and the glue that binds it all comes from my experience as a game developer and as a campus minister operating from a Reformed background especially in regard to the "all of life redeemed" perspective. In other words, bald, near-sighted itinerant Dutch ministers/professors who swear alot, drink and quote philosophers extensively (in no particular order) are my spiritual forefathers. It's why I even bother to wonder whether games are part of the Cultural Mandate and, probably, why I play a dwarf hunter as my main in WoW.

My next two posts will be the intro blurbs and links to the power points for the two talks. See you on the other side.

Jubilee 2006

Bill — Thu, 16 Feb 2006 04:09:00 +0000

Here's the synopsis of a talk I'll be giving at the Jubilee 2006 conference in Pittsburgh next weekend:

Video Games: Changing the Day, One World at a Time.

Is there a place for games in a Christ-centered life? A glance at any game store shelf will reveal the obvious cons: gratuitous violence and the objectification of women paired with Pavlovian reward mechanisms in the context of typical adolescent male power fantasies. That can't be good, right? If our chief end is to glorify God, there are certainly easier places to begin.

Yet games have the potential to teach us and mold us in ways that no other medium can. Games deliver the kind of identity-play that is necessary for deep, critical learning in any domain. We sense that games teach something. And we fear that they teach whatever it is too well. But what do they teach? Can we harness that power intentionally? Can we use games to communicate deeper truths about the human condition?

This session will touch on a wide variety of topics: Art. Addiction. The Point of Play. The Theory of Fun. The State of the Video Game Industry. Learning. The Gamer Generation. The Problem of Story in Games. Gamer Myths. Social Responsibility in Entertainment. And whether or not Christians should be involved.

Stargate Worlds

Bill — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 20:33:00 +0000

I like to think of it as Pirates vs. Alien Archaeologists (see gigagiggles: 9/20/03, 9/24/03, 9/30/03 and the 2005 PX! Christmas Special in which yours truly makes a cameo appearance (see if you can spot me!)). In any case, woot!

Ping

Bill — Thu, 22 Dec 2005 03:18:00 +0000

I'm alive and well in Phoenix, AZ. Look for good things coming from Cheyenne Mountain Entertainment, Inc. where I like to think of my new job as building killer robots.

Abracadabra

Bill — Tue, 25 Oct 2005 15:40:00 +0000

I'm reconciling my credit card statement (yes I'm a freak, I do that, and you should too), and I find this charge for $24.99 to Digital Age with a partial phone number and a stated address of Cyprus. I don't have a record of that...I check the date and try to figure out what I was doing that day. I check my email for a missed online receipt around that time. Nothing. I google 'digital age' and find 849398752 articles about life in the digital age. Sweet.

I ask my wife to call the credit card company to see if we can track down who this company is - still thinking it's just something we forgot about. They don't have a full phone number for them either.

'Cyprus' has me worried as well. (There's an interesting side-story involving Cyprus I'll tell you about another time that has me suspicious of them to begin with.)

While she's talking to the credit card company about whether or not we want to file a dispute and start a month-long process of trying to clear it up blah blah blah I go back to google and try "digital age cyprus."

Well, looky there. Apparently this is fallout from the Card Systems data theft a few months ago. The first site has a link to other similarly fraudulent charges, and well whaddya know, back in August I got hit with a $4.95 charge from Generex Technology that I wrote off as miscellaneous and assumed was just a lost receipt.

In a blog comment somewhere along the way, someone says to use the word 'fraud' rather than 'dispute' when you report this to your credit card company. I relay this to my wife who's still on the phone in the dispute process. She uses the magic word and *poof* - credit cards are cancelled, charges removed, and everyone lives happily ever after.

The moral of course, is if you're going to try to steal money from people's credit cards, stay under $5 and don't list your address as Cyprus...because I'm watching you Mr. Cyprean. I'm watching you.

There and Not Quite Back Again

Bill — Sat, 24 Sep 2005 23:57:00 +0000

I mostly feel good. I have the occasional bout of what on earth am I doing? ...I chose not to join my former colleagues in the return to Cyan on Wednesday.

The lay off cracked open a door for me that couldn't be forced shut again. Basically, this dwarf has spent too long in Rivendel. Elves are great, Elrond's the best, but I've got dragons to slay and mountains to reclaim and I feel like I'm gettin' soft with all the dancing and good eats.

So when everyone else turned around and headed back, I hoisted my pack and kept going. Don't know what's over there, but the horizon is too tempting.

I'll try to send letters back from the front, when I find it...

Rant-free Analysis

Bill — Fri, 23 Sep 2005 16:04:00 +0000

It's very rare to find free, public, articulate analysis of the state of the game industry that isn't blatantly mixed with a large dose of the author's (usually some crusty dev or ex-dev's) own agenda.

These essays by Danc make sense and are devoid of the usual the-industry-hates-me-because-I'm-smart-AND-pretty.

In other news, the kid at million dollar homepage is up to $108,000 in under a month. I really, really wish I'd thought of it.

Progress

Bill — Thu, 15 Sep 2005 02:13:00 +0000

Well, I've managed to work on the book every day for 31 days now. I'm a little over a fifth done, which is right where I'd expected I'd be. My spreadsheet tells me I'll finish around mid-January. Would be nice to finish before the end of the year, just 'cause. It's still too early to post any excerpts I think, though I'm dying to because the stuff makes me laugh out loud, and I think you all will enjoy it.

It's fun reading the comments from people who've been playing Myst V. I can't believe some have it already. Despite Cyan's current circumstances, every sale helps all of us. It's especially rewarding to see praise for aspects in Myst V that we worked hard to improve after Uru *cough, navigation, cough*.