I'm stubborn. I've been mistaking this for self-discipline for at least a decade.

I don't know how, when, or why I finally figured it out. You'd think an introspective revelation like that would have some memorable flashpoint -- it just came to me while I was driving to work -- or some thought-route that could be reverse-plotted -- I was thinking about donuts and how I'll decide not to eat one on the way to the box, and yet this decision seems to have no effect on my feet, hands or jaw because, look, there's the donut in my stomach.

I'm reasonably certain I discovered this sometime in November.

If you're stubborn and fooling yourself, like me, the distinction is probably not readily apparent. If you're a monk, the difference might be so obvious you're wondering how anyone could confuse the two. You're both on your own, because I'm running out of time to make this post.

So, what now? I can tell you that I will probably eat a donut today. It's Thursday, and Cyan provides boxes and boxes of free Krispy Kreme donuts on Thursdays. Obdurate, relentless, inexorable, unyielding...these are words that describe me when I bring my will to bear on a thing. And today, thing, thy name is donut.